A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.

Fear it and embrace it, said Louise Lear
Forecasters said the unrelenting wind will search deep inside you, burrowing into you and uncovering the shame that corrodes your soul, as temperatures drop to -11, making the UK colder than St Petersburg.

A Met Office spokesman said: “You cannot hide from it. Even if you shelter behind closed doors, you will hear its whisper and it will say ‘I know who you are’.”

According to the Met Office computer model, as the cold air passes over the Ural mountains and sweeps though Eastern Europe it picks up speed and becomes sentient.

The forecasters said the wind will be a passionate, wild-eyed interrogator of the human condition, forcing you to confront one monumental truth after another.

The spokesman added: “Do not prepare yourself for there is nothing you can do. It will howl at you until you say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ in the same desperate, elated breath.

“Stand naked in the street and let the wind rush through you, cleansing and restoring you. Tearing you to pieces and rebuilding a magnificently honest version of you.

“And as it uncovers you, stripping away at your shabby, pointless and ultimately self-defeating facade, you will at last feel truly free.

“Particularly those in central and northern Scotland.”

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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/e...-2013022260679

On Friday, February 22, 2013 2:34:30 PM UTC, Jim Cannon wrote:
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.



Fear it and embrace it, said Louise Lear

Forecasters said the unrelenting wind will search deep inside you, burrowing into you and uncovering the shame that corrodes your soul, as temperatures drop to -11, making the UK colder than St Petersburg.



A Met Office spokesman said: “You cannot hide from it. Even if you shelter behind closed doors, you will hear its whisper and it will say ‘I know who you are’.”



According to the Met Office computer model, as the cold air passes over the Ural mountains and sweeps though Eastern Europe it picks up speed and becomes sentient.



The forecasters said the wind will be a passionate, wild-eyed interrogator of the human condition, forcing you to confront one monumental truth after another.



The spokesman added: “Do not prepare yourself for there is nothing you can do. It will howl at you until you say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ in the same desperate, elated breath.



“Stand naked in the street and let the wind rush through you, cleansing and restoring you. Tearing you to pieces and rebuilding a magnificently honest version of you.



“And as it uncovers you, stripping away at your shabby, pointless and ultimately self-defeating facade, you will at last feel truly free.



“Particularly those in central and northern Scotland.”



*







http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/e...-2013022260679

Just hilarious. I love this poster!

On Friday, 22 February 2013 14:34:30 UTC, Jim Cannon wrote:
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies
you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed

For a short moment I thought this was genuine Piers bluster and then noticed it was the Daily Mash.

Richard Dixon wrote:
On Friday, 22 February 2013 14:34:30 UTC, Jim Cannon wrote:
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies
you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed

For a short moment I thought this was genuine Piers bluster and then noticed it was the Daily Mash.
-------------------------------------------------
No mention of Piers from our Jim. Perhaps the balmy Spring weather we
had recently and the treatment have worked.

In article ,
Jim Cannon writes:
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will
expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.
snip

Very droll. But I don't think anyone from the Met Office has made the
error of claiming that the wind has come from as far away as Siberia. If
it had, it would be a lot colder. It's merely come from eastern Europe.
--
John Hall

"Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong."
Oscar Wilde

On Friday, 22 February 2013 14:34:30 UTC, Jim Cannon wrote:
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.



Fear it and embrace it, said Louise Lear

Forecasters said the unrelenting wind will search deep inside you, burrowing into you and uncovering the shame that corrodes your soul, as temperatures drop to -11, making the UK colder than St Petersburg.



A Met Office spokesman said: “You cannot hide from it. Even if you shelter behind closed doors, you will hear its whisper and it will say ‘I know who you are’.”



According to the Met Office computer model, as the cold air passes over the Ural mountains and sweeps though Eastern Europe it picks up speed and becomes sentient.



The forecasters said the wind will be a passionate, wild-eyed interrogator of the human condition, forcing you to confront one monumental truth after another.



The spokesman added: “Do not prepare yourself for there is nothing you can do. It will howl at you until you say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ in the same desperate, elated breath.



“Stand naked in the street and let the wind rush through you, cleansing and restoring you. Tearing you to pieces and rebuilding a magnificently honest version of you.



“And as it uncovers you, stripping away at your shabby, pointless and ultimately self-defeating facade, you will at last feel truly free.



“Particularly those in central and northern Scotland.”



*







http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/e...-2013022260679

That Louise's dad was a Shakespearean actor who spent his whole career playing 'Lear'. He said the part could have been written for him.